The Berlin Conference - The Burning Hell

Why have I called you here?

I guess I’ve got a thing for meetings

But please, take a chair, let’s get past the formal greetings

It’s so cold outside, let’s ponder wandering the tropics

And get to work tabling the topics that we’re here to discuss

Disgust runs through my northern veins when I consider what we’re wasting

think of the southern gains we could all be tasting

speaking of taste, waiter, another gin and tonic

Don’t look at me that way, Teutonic thirst is chronic and this is thirsty work.

Let’s not be gentle, gentleman, this project’s continental

Oh, don’t worry about that spill, friend, the tablecloths are rentals

Pass me the map and the brandy, I’ve got a pen already

Where’s the ruler?

Where’s the compass?

Ready, hold it steady… now,

will you look at that!

Some call us rivals, they say we’ve got interests not friends

Well you say tomato, and I say dividends

Divided we stand but united we’ll do business

is this civilized or what?

Can I get a witness, let’s sign this and light a

cigar!

Oh, far be it for me to presume or decide

I just called the meeting I’m not taking sides

Side of beef?

Cider?

More port or maybe champagne

from the cellar, oh waiter we’ll need you again

It’s best to be under the influence, oh

When deciding our spheres of influence, no

Scrambling’s for eggs not for colonization

Sit settle down just relax and be patient

Here is a piece of the pie for you, and here is a piece of the pie for you too

And for you, no pie, after all you came late!

Do you ask for a kiss on the very

first date

So lodge a complaint, it’s a hodgepodge a paint by numbers call it whatever you

want

But let’s focus on finding a final agreement, OK?

I’m too drunk to think any

more and I say

50 is the magic number, wormless are the birds who slumber

in three months we’ll do it let’s begin