Memoir: Entry II / Memory Lane - Terrell

This is a memoir

I think I’m on the second page

And yesterday

Took a trip down some memory lanes

It’s so insane

I went to Hayes

Can’t keep a pace

And man I’m just all over the place

But I don’t care

My minds so scattered

I’m just glad it hasn’t shattered already

Man what did they tell me

Sticking to this music shit is never gonna fail me

And they helped me, picked me back up when I was feeling down

I felt the blues

Man I remember…

Back against the wall, there was no one that I could call

I heard it all

I’ll be there for you anytime

You wasn’t there for any time

And every time I tried to take the knife into my chest…

That’s too much to confess

I’m a mess

But I been blessed with this rapping shit

Yeah, I guess

This shits a test

You gotta flex with your mind

You stay forgetting the times

Just take a trip down memory lane and hope the story’s the same

And if it ain’t then oh well, they say everything change

I took a trip down memory lane just today actually

It was a nice experience

I remember back when I was 17 and I would think «man, when I’m famous I

definitely gotta mention this in my 'when I was 17' episode.»

I had made this song called «The Help» for my first album

What actually motivated it was that I wanted to do this tour thing…

My mom said no

It destroyed me

Like to the point that I just didn’t want to make music anymore

I was done

And I remember this one time…

I was so happy

My mom had just gotten married

Just moved into a new house

And I mean an actual house

It wasn’t big but it was comfy

I miss that place on Hayes Avenue

Going to a new school

It was nice

And then…

That night…

I don’t wanna get into much detail… But it lead to a divorce

New city

New school

Ugh

Back to happy thoughts

I remember meeting my dad for the first time

Well the first time that I would actually remember in life

It was May

I was in school and I got called down to the office

Specifically it was my Algebra II class

I knew I wasn’t in trouble so naturally I was pretty confused

I get to the office and I see my mom

We get to talking and then this guy walks in

My father

It didn’t take very long for him to be in tears looking at what I would assume

was a mirror image of him at that age

I didn’t cry…

At least while I was in the office

I didn’t know what to think

I won’t lie I was really happy about it though

But I guess that’s the reason I began to hurt so much once the broken promises

followed

We don’t talk anymore…

Maybe one day…

One day when I can actually forgive him and mean it

Ugh

I need more happy thoughts

I remember Halloween one year

It was while my mom was still married

We did a scavenger hunt in my basement

It was all Ronnies idea

Definitely my favorite Halloween ever

I’ll never forget it

Back to 2011…

My great grandmother died…

So I made her a promise that I would never give up with her watching over me

I’m keeping it

Another important promise in my life

My tenth birthday

I promised that when I have kids I’ll always be there for them, and be the

father I never got to have myself

There’s that memoir