Can't Get a Tan - Surf Punks

I, I can’t get a tan

I’m not a man

Even though I drive a van

Still can’t get a tan

I’ve used cocoa butter, tanning oil, even ultra-ban

Sunlamps, microwave, General Electric’s greatest fan

Can’t get a tan, etc.

Girls like guys with dark Hawaiian skin

Hey pass the Crisco I’ll do anything to win

Oh what a drag I look like a fag

I can’t get any girls even though I have hot curls

I just can’t get a tan, etc.

Mommy was a stripper

Daddy was a jerk

Do you know what time it is?

Oh I’m late for work

Oh I just gotta get that tan

I’m just here for the chicks

That’s why I want that tan

I’m running out of licks

Frying in this pan — sssss

Don’t tell me that I’m white

I know you’re tan as toast

Let’s turn off the lights

Now do I still look like a ghost?

I just can’t get a tan, etc.

He’s so stupid, why doesn’t he stop to think

He might as well forget it, he’s just turning pink

Haven’t we met before

Oh god what a line

Just forget about that tan

Gotta get back to the mine

La la…