Pickin' on the Chicken - Ray Stevens

You know, if a chicken could talk

He might say something like this

Why’s everybody pickin' on the chicken?

What did a chicken ever do to you?

Why’s everybody pickin' on the chicken?

What a crock of cock-a-doodle-doo, bawk

Now I’m not the kinda bird to squawk

But seems like these days, folks can’t talk

Without somehow slandering the chicken’s name

Buck, buck, buck, buck, buck

But bigotry and discrimination

Dominate the syntax of this whole nation

It’s enough to drive a dumb dominecker insane

They say «flew the coop» when a thief’s departed

And if he’s lacking courage, he’s «chicken-hearted»

And if he messes up, «he's got egg on his face»

He’ll work for «chicken feed» or «hatch a scheme»

Something’s «stuck in his craw», see what I mean?

Demeaning references to chickens are commonplace

«Bird brain», «dumb cluck», «no spring chicken», «strut your stuff»

«Nest egg», «bad egg», «shake your tail feather», «cocky» and such

«Laid an egg», «in a stew», I don’t know what a chicken can do

You know being a chicken in this environment is «nothing to crow about»

No, a chicken’s life is not all it’s «cracked up to be»

And stop questioning my motives about crossing the road, I don’t know why I did

it

Hey, I’m a chicken, yeah

Maybe I did it to show the possum it could be done, or sing a duet with Willie

Nelson

What difference does it make?

I crossed the road, okay?

Get over it!

Bawk

And it’s time to stop pickin' on the chicken

I mean, what a chicken ever did to you?

It’s time to stop pickin' on the chicken

What a crock of cock-a-doodle-doo

«Don't count your chickens before they hatch» and «don't put all your eggs in

one basket»

And «don't put up a squawk» or «all your chickens might come home to roost»

People get «up with the chickens» or «go to bed with the chickens»

Or are concerned about the «pecking order»

He’s the «cock of the walk», «he rules the roost»

«Broods» over problems like «empty nest syndrome»

You know what makes me «madder than a wet hen»?

What does every strange thing from frog legs to rattlesnake taste like?

That’s right, chicken

Finding some sort of reference that doesn’t include a chicken is is is «as rare has hen’s teeth»

Bawk, now you’ve got me doing it

I’ll be so upset before long I’ll be «running around like a chicken with its

head cut off»

Okay, bawk, I can’t believe I said that, bawk

Somebody stop me, bawk

«What came first, the chicken or the egg?»

Oh, «I feel like I’m walking on eggs»

I feel «hen-pecked»

Why did the punk rocker cross the road?

He was stapled to the chicken

You know, «it ain’t over 'til the fat chicken sings» and that’s me

Is this any good or did I just «lay an egg»?

Bawk