Friday Night Funkin' the Musical - Random Encounters, Familyjules7x, Adriana Figueroa

Do you smoke?

Do you drink?

Do your armpits tend to stink?

Why’d you dye your messy hair?

Do you change your underwear?

Sorry, we should really go

We were here to see a show

Meeting you’s been such a treat!

Yo, your dad is super sweet!

Maybe… I wasn’t clear

You two… are staying here

Tell me… about your work?

You gotta job your little jerk?

Yeah about that

No. Sir, I’m still in school

Learning… is pretty cool!

One day… with my degree

You’ll never be as good as me!

This may seem impolite

But we were… not planning to invite

Our parents… don’t take this as slight

Enjoy the… rest of your funkin' Friday night

No one dates my daughter 'till they earn the right

I don’t know you.

I don’t like you.

There’s no chance I might

And nothing brings me more malicious and depraved delight

Than to bury Girlfriend’s boyfriend on a funkin' Friday night!

Do you spit or pick your nose?

Own a gun?

Wear women’s clothes?

Suck your thumb or bite your nails?

Get beaten up by alpha males?

Listen, lady…

Call me Mom

Normally I’m much more calm

But tonight I’m on a date

So all these questions gotta wait

Got any moles or warts?

Rashes of any sort?

Do you eat human meat?

Suckle at the devil’s teat?

What does… that even mean?!

I’m just… a normal teen!

Do you know the muffin man?!

Or have a Roth retirement plan?

This may seem impolite

But we were… not planning to invite

Our parents… don’t take this as slight

Enjoy the… rest of your funkin' Friday night

No one dates our daughter 'till they earn the right

We don’t know you.

We don’t like you.

There’s no chance we might

And nothing brings us more malicious and depraved delight

Than to bury Girlfriend’s boyfriend on a funkin' Friday night!

Please give your perspective

On modern non-objective art!

Sorry, no thanks… I gotta be frank

That we’re due to depart…

Do you have tattoos?

What size are the shoes your wearing?

We need to know, has your appendix been removed?

No- Yes- about 11

Oh, I guess, around age 7

I don’t see how

These questions matter, now-

What’s your blood type?

Been to Spain?

Were you ever potty trained?

Do you recycle glass and cans?

Tell us all your future plans-

Mom, Dad… since you’ve shown up

Things have… really blown up!

Look at me!

I’m a grown up!

I can make my own decisions!

Girlfriend, don’t be silly

Do you think he’s really

Good enough for you?

Is this the best you can do?

Sure, he’s… not drop-dead gorgeous

Smells like old spice and oranges

I don’t really mind

Plus they say that love is blind

Does he… brush twice a day?

Eat gluten… soy, eggs, or whey?

See, you don’t even know!

This dumb kid has got to go!

Listen pumpkin-

Go on.

Dump him-

Don’t protest-

We know best!

You’re being so unfair!

He’s not a creep.

I swear!

We’ll be together… forever!

Our kids will have blue hair!

Girlfriend ain’t your girlfriend.

So get out of sight!

She’s a winner, you’re a loser, and you know i’m right!

I hope this domineering message ain’t becoming trite

So go be someone else’s boyfriend on your funky Friday night!

Are you hard of hearing or just not that bright?

I won’t let my darling daughter date a parasite!

So beat it!

Scram!

Vamoose!

Get lost!

And don’t forget to write

'cause your no longer Girlfriend’s boyfriend on this funky…

Boyfriend cannot date you 'till he earns the right!

He just met you — barely knows you — but i’m scared he might!

He’s clearly smitten with his wit and yes, he seems polite

But Boyfriend needs a different girlfriend for his funky Friday night!

This discussion’s over, I won’t have this fight

Why’d we ever let you sign up for that dating site!

He may seem positively dreamy — straight up dynamite!

But Boyfriend’s still a swingin' single on this funkin'…

I don’t care if you’re right!

I love him… just as he is despite

He’s not a big star or socialite

He’s just a great date for this funky Friday night!

You’re always so uptight!

And dad is… all bark and zero bite!

Whatever!

Go fly a flippin' kite!

You’re not the… boss of this funky…

I know that I’m not quite

Some kind of Greek god or shining knight

Your daughter… still thinks that i’m all right

So maybe… don’t wreck her funky Friday night

It’s clear we aren’t that tight

But maybe… one day you’ll see the light

And then we’ll get past this and unite

Around or… shared love of funkin'…

Friday Night!