Universe Man - Open Mike Eagle, Serengeti

Yeah, you can have it all

You can get the girl

And if you’re short

Be the tallest midget in the world

It’s your orchard, no self-torture

Hold head high like the guy on the new yorker

Though, That guy reminds me of slavery

I’ll let that inspire me to bravery

Click twitter read j smooth and be the boy

YouTube for reruns of Freakazoid

Trying not to laugh or even talk a lot

People try to get shit done at the coffee shop

Good script, man

Grab that oscar

Don’t settle for shrimp pans, have that lobster

But sit straight or you’ll have bad posture

And run into a hunchback

And damn that’s awkward

More rap advice

I’ll open the coffers

You don’t have to ask, I’ll just offer

Believe me I understand

I lost a couple battles like MC Shan

Now my days go according to plan

Powerful man, universe man

This is not email spam

Or trojan malware that eats up ram

Just follow step one, step two then bam

Powerful man, universe man

And it don’t cost three grand

You don’t have to swear an oath to goat god pan

Don’t need muscles or a situation tan

Powerful man, universe man

Go easy on the buffalo wings

Do your best to stay out of a juggalo ring

Bring half the intensity Mark Ruffalo brings

And you’ll do fine

A little Windex makes your school shoes shine

Or rock 'em all scuffed, the weird kids are artsy

The jocks are all tough

Had an x-ray and everything the doctor saw sucked

I still feel awesome

Unless I feel weird

I keep it confident for the sex appeal, yeah

And walk like a kind, a queen, if you’re a lady

It all comes in time

Like the teeth of a baby

Just a little bit of crying and bleeding in between

After ill meals there’s still appliances to clean

No, trash is in the blue, recycling in the green

Now go out there and be somebody