The Floorless Jig -

Well blood is thicker than water

But liquor’s thicker than either

My mother said I was born to perform

I’m beginning to believe her

That girl I wed said I’d get to nothin' big

But she never figured on my floorless jig!

A martyr needs a murder

To lend creedence to his fable

While I never meant to hurt her

Like Cain I am unable to surmount the odds

When my cards are so clearly rigged

The holy hand of chance deigned I’d dance this floorless jig!

I wed the preacher’s daughter

And she rode me like a mule

But as that rheumy room besought her

Old horny gave me my gruel

Well, she bled in bed just like a fresh stuck pig!

Now let every prig regard my floorless jig!

Well the bottle made me do it

Now I’m famous like a saint

When the man says «you will rue it.»

I say «I am the Great I ain’t!»

If you’ve got a last request son

Well you better speak up now

I look boldly from the scaffold

I said, «I need a bigger crowd!»

«I need an audience all tense to see me swing!

They can tell my ma how they saw my floorless jig!»

Well hangin and a-wivin' were never in my plans!

But bangin and a-knivin made for such a dual dance!

Have you ever seen such a perfect pelvic dig?

Well just take a twig on my flawless floorless jig!

Well just take a twig on my flawless floorless jig!

I said take a twig on my flawless floorless jig!