...unfamiliar - My Only

I was

Wide awake when you left

Count down the hours til I could tuck tail, I fled

Down the stairs

To my car, where I spent far too long

Motionless and wondering where life went so wrong

Not what I expected;

Fighting for love that we long knew was truly dead

I cried the whole drive home

Never felt so alone

Floating and floating and floating and floating and

I’d been

For days, stood still

Floating around in denial.

The

«Can't do this anymore»

Stayed with me for a while

And I’d been

Left gasping for air that I never thought I needed

The winter chill felt so familiar

I didn’t need to see beyond

I think I’d known it all along

One day

I’ll forgive myself

With all these flaws or otherwise

Soon, no doubt

One day, one day

I’ll forgive myself

Until the cold crept in just like you do

So much room to grow

Re-evaluating what I’d done

Is all I need to overcome

…a death

I’ll take time to find out

If all the pain was worth it

My chance to be better

And could it last forever?

The winter chill felt so familiar

And I didn’t need to see beyond

I’d known it all along