The Naval Medley - Monty Python

Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis?

Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong?

It’s swell to have a stiffy.

It’s divine to own a dick,

From the tiniest little tadger

To the world’s biggest prick.

So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.

Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,

Your piece of pork, your wife’s best friend,

Your Percy, or your cock.

You can wrap it up in ribbons.

You can slip it in your sock,

But don’t take it out in public,

Or they will stick you in the dock,

And you won’t come back.

(Girls)

It’s fun to own your own vagina

It’s great to have your friendly thatch

Your minge, your twat, your kitty cat

Your nest, your nasty or your snatch

It’s great to have a monkey furrow

Your finger pie, your lunch box or your catch

Your camel toe, your bearded clam

Your bottom at the front

Your monkey minge

Your muffin

Or your old Sir Berkely Hunt

Your honeypot

Your hairy friend

But never call it cunt

Or we won’t come back

(Boys)

Isn’t it awfully nice to have a bottom

Isn’t it frightfully good to have an ass

It’s swell to own a fushy

It’s divine to have a scut

From the skinniest little buttocks

To the worlds largest butt

Three cheers for your posterior or anus

Hooray for your lovely sit upon

Your fundament, your fanny, your cheeky little dear,

Your rump, your hauch, your hams,

Your stern, your fanny or your rear

But be careful how you handle it or you’ll be caught I fear

And you wont come back