Every Sperm Is Sacred - Monty Python

There are Jews in the world, there are Buddhists

There are Hindus, and Mormons, and then

There are those that follow Mohammed but

I’ve never been one of them

I’m a Roman Catholic

And have been since before I were born

And the one thing they say about Catholics is

They’ll take you as soon as you’re warm

You don’t have to be a six footer

You don’t have to have a great brain

You don’t have to have any clothes on

You’re a Catholic the moment Dad came

Because

Every sperm is sacred

Every sperm is great

If a sperm is wasted

God gets quite irate

Every sperm is sacred

Every sperm is great

If a sperm is wasted

God gets quite irate

Let the heathen spill theirs

On the dusty ground

God shall make them pay

For each sperm that can’t be found

Every sperm is wanted

Every sperm is good

Every sperm is needed

In your neighborhood

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon

Spill theirs just anywhere

But God loves those who treat their

Semen with more care

Every sperm is sacred

Every sperm is great

If a sperm is wasted

God gets quite irate

Every sperm is sacred

Every sperm is good

Every sperm is needed

In your neighborhood

Every sperm is useful

Every sperm is fine

God needs everybody’s

Mine, and mine, and mine

Let the pagans spill theirs

O’er mountain, hill and plain

God shall strike them down for

Each sperm that’s spilt in vain

Every sperm is sacred

Every sperm is good

Every sperm is needed

In your neighborhood

Every sperm is sacred

Every sperm is great

If a sperm is wasted

God gets quite irate