The Turnaway - Monica Richards

I couldn’t look to see her face

I dared not look — I just couldn’t

But only rested my eyes on the shadow behind her as we made our way

Sailors may have heard and turned their heads to look

At the vast open endless answer

She says «I am with you.»

Maybe that’s true…

Two silhouettes on the sand, the sun shining brightly behind us

It was morning

And with her heart she looked at me

It seemed she was about to speak of better times…

I dreamed she did speak to me, you see

Here I am and that’s enough for now

Then the memory of her shadow turning

In tunnel vision like a silent home movie

Playing and repeating

Her shade spinning growing past her feminine shape —

A wave of hand on this rotation a quiet laugh on that

The profile for a moment, her shadow rising like a bird

Its wings stretching — the shape shifting — the tossing of her hair

Like a mare free and prancing

The moment played and replayed

While I stared transfixed dizzy

She flickered and I couldn’t remember exactly who she was or who she had been

I will see her again

This is what it’s like when someone you love has gone

And you hope to see them in dreams

Though you never remember all you want to say…

It’s always that way

She said «I am with you.»

That’s enough for now

I will see you again…