Feeling Existential - Mojo Nixon

Your goatee is growin'

In front of your fake French café

You’re readin' Kirkegaard

Underneath your very black beret

Smokin' filterless Camels

That stink just like Gitanes

Drinkin' some espresso

Droppin' all the names

Standing outside of a Winchell’s

You’re feeling very existential

You dreamed you were Whitman

Walt, the poet, the bard

But you’re really more like Slim

An evil tub of lard

Lookin' in the mirror

And think you see James Dean

Now you turn to Dylan

You coulda been him

Feelin' so depressed

You’re lookin' so distressed

And all the little girls

You just want to undress

You’re uglier than your high-school principal

You’re just feelin' very existential

You were kicked out of the college

Your Daddy couldn’t afford

So you went out «On the Road»

In a '67 Ford

Then you went to Europe

You felt like Hemingway

You even loved a woman there

But you found out she was gay

Man, you gonna never get rid of your pimples

You’re just feelin' very existential

Nothin' is nothin'

Everyone’s a twit

Gonna tie myself up

Have a little fit

So grab your granny glasses

Dress all up in black

Find your journal

Read Jack Kerouac

Bed on down through the winter

You’re feeling very existential

You’d like to sit on Kirk Douglas’s dimple

Yeah, you’re inside of a Chinese temple

And your mind, mind, is so, so simple

Standin' outside of a Winchell’s

Feelin' very existential