Devil in the Attic - MC Frontalot

It’s the bad old days, when young ladies are possessions

And they haven’t any agency, decision nor discretion

And we’ve got the choicest one right here: our famous daughter

A jewel that mustn’t fall to any robber or marauder

She’s the gilding on our fortune.

But a portion of her beauty

Would be plenty to entice the finest, thus we’re snooty

Got my «who do you think is good enough for my little girl» on

‘cause you know the whole world’s wide, the whole world’s long

And in the expanse of it, she might be the most valuable

We keep her in the house until she’s wed.

She might be malleable

She might take up with interests.

There’d be no marrying her then

To the very, very handsomest of men

Listen, it’s a burden being wealthy but the rumors I collect

Indicate there is a suitor who could be without defect

So beautiful of feature that he matches the bride

Now he’s courting in the evenings, I hope stars could align (collide)…

Anything you could have, we have it

Even got a devil in the attic

Now these are the grand old evenings for a couple of reasons

The beautifullest boy has got my daughter feeling feelings

(through a fence, and there’s chaperones, don’t think us dullards)

In protection of our asset, we keep her visage covered

And his family’s intent to do the same.

They stay in shadow

But tonight’s the night it happens!

Please don’t think us shallow;

We’re excited to inspect him, all we’ve heard, he’s such a prize

They’ll be wedded in our parlor once she looks into his eyes

Not an invited guest, more like a secretive squatter

I’m here to appear, disappear, create fear inside your daughter

She’s mine.

I got dibs.

Had them ever since the crib

I laugh at your decision to fib when she’s not even yours to give

I’m a ghost, a spirit, a deity.

My reality is your realty

I can cause quite a commotion if your notion isn’t fealty

So send me up a BLT, and if you’re thorough, a Sapporo

I’ll forget you let her think she was ever something to be borrowed

This union’s got me fuming, cause a racket in the attic

I’ll malign your mansion, make it collapse and cause a panic

I can be satanic.

I suggest you profess your allegiance

Or expect an attic avalanche of malevolent malfeasance

I asked the groom to choose his doom: «Your life or your face.»

Anyone would pick the latter.

You pick the former, you can’t replace

The vain would rather die but the groom chose his life

But will his wife like his type now that his face was a fright?

Not quite!

Oh, fate!

This is a tragedy of a face, son

But we’re sadder for our daughter, who’s got this abomination

For a husband.

He’s all busted up and ruined.

Wish we’d seen him in his glory

Wish this could’ve been a happy story

As the high class people our whole family used to be

I must apologize for hosting the mostly demon-free

(except for the one exception) ruined evening of the wedding

The other father fled it early, please convey to him my deep regretting

Actually, I’ve been here the whole time.

I was just admiring these sliding

screen doors.

These are nice, how do you slam these?