Your Husband's Cheating On Us - Matraca Berg

She said, honey, you don’t know me

But I know you

Do you mind if I come in

It’ll only take a minute or two

And by the way I really like

What you’ve done to this place

It doesn’t really surprise me

'Cause we kind of have the same taste

But that’s enough small talk

There’s something that we need to discuss

Your husband’s cheating on us

She said, you look surprised

Well, I’m surprised that you never knew

I can’t believe you didn’t pick up

On my rather strong perfume

(It was Giorgio)

But anyway, we’ve been replaced

And she’s much younger than me and you

And she’s out there with him now

Doing all the things that we used to do

So why don’t we get together

You know, we could be dangerous

'Cause your husband’s cheating on us

Ah, ah, ah, ah, snakes are in the kitchen

Crows are on the line

Ah, ah, ah, ah, the weather vane is twitching

Can’t you see the sign, sign, s-s-sign

This is where I start to cry

And she said, honey, you’ll get over it

Just never mind my fantasies

Of cyanide or taking out a hit

On second thought it’s better, don’t you think

To make him wish that he was dead

So promise me you’ll take that creep

For everything he’s ever had instead

I’ve got a Polaroid camera

And a room number at the Hotel Nautilus

Where your husband’s cheating on us

He’s cheating on us