Get a Room - Lorraine Feather

It’s pretty obvious, You’re not my type, But when we’re together, people snipe,

«Get a room, get a room, get a room.»

I’m not your destiny, Uh-uh, no way, But time and again, we hear ‘em say,

«Get a room, get a room, get a room.»

You’re careful and cautious and so polite.

I don’t care whose cage I’m rattlin'.

This isn’t a matter of left and right, Like Jim Carville and Mary Matalin

You’ve always been the one Whose chops you bust, The cop on the corner mutters,

«Just Get a room, get a room, get a room.»

We explain to him that opposites Sometimes repel, As a couple construction

workers yell, «Get a room, get a room, get a room!»

That little accent I do, Never seems to amuse you.

Tell me all about spring

break in Baltimore.

I’ve only heard it nine times before

It’s highly unusual For you to show up in my dreams, But even my cranky parrot

screams «Get a room, get a room.»

She goes «Ooooooh, Get a room, you two.»

I lack the particular outs and ins Of women you refer to as goddesses.

You speak, I don’t ever hear violins, Or even the ripping of bodices

Smart-asses Think they’re wise, Total strangers roll their eyes.

The schoolkids Won’t let it lie, No mercy When we pass by!

They laugh,

they point, time after time.

Sometimes they chant This jump rope rhyme:

They go «Ah ah, eh eh, say boom boom boom boom.

Ah ah, eh eh, get a room,

get a room, get a room.»

Liar, liar, pants on fire, My face wasn’t either turning red That time your

mother said «Get a room, get a room.»

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, Just get a room, you two."

Snowed in, in Fargo … No one’s flyin', whaddya know.

Work trip, dead beat.

Nothin’s free but the Honeymoon Suite.

Big bucks.

No choice.

Then I hear this

familiar voice, Hear you, near me, Sounding pitiful as can be: «Is there any

way I could possibly Get a room, get a room, get a room?»

And the rest is

history