Eskapo - Loonie, John Roa

Kapayapaan sa sarili kailan ko pa ba matatagpuan

Araw-araw na lang ang pag-aalala parang wala na siyang katapusan

Dumudugo ng luha ang mga mata pag ang puso’y sugatan

Gusto ko nang lumuha ng dugo, para ulo’y gumaan

Gusto ko nang matulog, bukas ipagpapatuloy ko na lang

Baka alam mo kung saan ang tamang daanan pakituro mo naman

Kasi gusto kong tingnan kung nasa’n nga ba ang pinagbuhatan

Ng kasalukuyan, ang hinaharap ay pinangunahan

Pinarusahan nabilanggo sa nakaraan na kinamulatan

Hindi na rin makapaghintay pa sa pagdating ng kinabukasan

Kaya ako ay pumalaot, nagpaanod, at inabot pa ng bagyo

Sumasabog ang mga alon at pinasok na ang barko

Ang kisame ng kabaong ko’y puro kalmot ng kuko

Ramdam ko na naman bigla ang ginaw na bumabalot sa buto

Nako po

Habagat na ang ihip, pag malamig magkumot

Magdamag nasa isip, masasakit na hugot

Masamang panaginip, ang kalakip ng tulog

Kaharap pagkagising, mas malaking bangungot

Kaya

Gusto lang namang kumawala

Ng isip kahit pansamantala

Pero bakit tila mas lumalala

Di ko na alam kung saan ako dinadala

Gusto lang namang kumawala

Ng isip kahit pansamantala

Pero bakit tila mas lumalala

Minsan gusto ko na lang na mawala na

Huwag kang magpapalimita sa iisang plano

('wag na 'wag, 'wag na 'wag)

Imbis na mainip pagisipan pa ng maigi kung pa’no

(Magdamag, magdamag)

Malimit, mahilig magbilin sa ibang tao

Ngunit tila di ko masunod-sunod ang sarili kong payo

Katahimikan nakahiligan, kapaligiran parang libingan

At kahit minsan walang bisita nasa dilim at nakangiti lang

Naging pihikan sa pagibig, maging sa kaibigan

Napili kong piitan ay ang sarili kong isipan

Kaya maya’t maya natataranta sa mga nakaamba na pangamba

Kailangan ng pampakalma ayoko nang maalala ang pagaalala

Nakakawala ng gana, isip ay parang ibong lumilipad

Sa loob ng hawla na gawa sa mga negatibong posibilidad

Habagat na ang ihip, pag malamig magkumot

Magdamag nasa isip, masasakit na hugot

Masamang panaginip, ang kalakip ng tulog

Kaharap pagkagising, mas malaking bangungot

Kaya madalas ay

Gusto lang namang kumawala

Ng isip kahit pansamantala

Pero bakit tila mas lumalala

Di ko na alam kung saan ako dinadala

Gusto lang namang kumawala

Ng isip kahit pansamantala

Pero bakit tila mas lumalala

Minsan gusto ko nalang na mawala na

Minsan lapis at papel ang mas madaling kausap

Sakit sa ulo, ang sabi ng iba ito’y sakit sa utak

Kada gabi nagmamadali na makarating sa ulap

Bukas magkatabi na butas ng ilong may nakatakip na bulak

Balisong sa pulso, kwarenta’y singkong nakatutok sa bibig

Pero parang gusto ko yung kumot nakapulupot sa leeg

Ang gulo ng buong daigdig, wala naman yatang gustong makinig

Mas masarap pang mamundok, o kaya magmukmok sa sulok ng pook na liblib

Puno ang dibdib ng kawalan ng pag-asa parang kusang sumusuko ang katawan sa mga

pasan na wala ng hupa

Para kang sa Alcatraz pumuga, sa taas ay nakakalula

Makaalpas ka man sa mga bara paglabas ay wala nang lupa

At kung makatakas ka man, mahal mo naman sa buhay ang sasakluban

Nakakabuwang, lahat tayo balang araw isa lang ang hahantungan

Kapayapaan sa sarili tsaka ko na lang to natagpuan

Nung ang makitid ko na pagiisip ang siyang nagawa ko na matakbuhan

Gusto lang namang kumawala

Ng isip kahit pansamantala

Pero bakit tila mas lumalala

Di ko na alam kung saan ako dinadala

(Di ko na alam)

Gusto lang namang kumawala

(Gusto lang namang kumawala)

(Gusto lang naman)

Ng isip kahit pansamantala

(Kahit pansamantala)

Pero bakit tila mas lumalala

Minsan gusto ko nalang na mawala na

Peace in myself when can I find it?

Every day the worry seems to have no end

Eyes bleed with tears when the heart is wounded

I want to shed blood, so that my head can lighten up

I want to sleep, tomorrow I will continue

Maybe you know where the right path is, please point me to it

Because I want to see where the origin is

Of the present, the future is led

Punished imprisoned in the past

Can't wait for tomorrow to come either

So I drifted, drifted, and was even caught by a storm

The waves are breaking and the ship has come in

The ceiling of my coffin was all scratched by nails

I suddenly feel the cold that wraps around my bones

Oh no

The wind is from the south, when it's cold, cover yourself with blankets

All night on the mind, painful pulls

Bad dreams, the attachment of sleep

Facing waking up, a bigger nightmare

So

I just want to get away

Of mind even temporarily

But why does it seem to be getting worse?

I don't know where I'm being taken

I just want to get away

Of mind even temporarily

But why does it seem to be getting worse?

Sometimes I just want to disappear

Don't limit yourself to a single plan

(don't, don't, don't)

Instead of being bored, think carefully about what to do

(All night, all night)

Often, likes to order other people

But I can't seem to follow my own advice

Silence inclined, environment like a grave

And sometimes there is no visitor in the dark and just smiling

Became a lover, even a friend

My chosen dungeon is my own mind

So little by little panicked with the dreaded fears

Need a sedative I don't want to remember the worry

Loss of appetite, mind is like a flying bird

Inside a cage made of negative possibilities

The wind is from the south, when it's cold, cover yourself with blankets

All night on the mind, painful pulls

Bad dreams, the attachment of sleep

Facing waking up, a bigger nightmare

So often is

I just want to get away

Of mind even temporarily

But why does it seem to be getting worse?

I don't know where I'm being taken

I just want to get away

Of mind even temporarily

But why does it seem to be getting worse?

Sometimes I just want to disappear

Sometimes pencil and paper are easier to communicate with

Headache, others say it's brain pain

Every night rushes to reach the cloud

Open side by side nostrils covered with flowers

Sword on the wrist, forty-five points pointed at the mouth

But I like the blanket wrapped around the neck

The whole world is a mess, no one seems to want to listen

It's even better to climb a mountain, or hide in the corner of a remote area

The chest is full of despair as if the body is giving up on its own

a burden that will never subside

It's like you're in Alcatraz, you're dizzy at the top

Even if you get past the obstacles, there is no land left

And even if you escape, you will love the one who will be trapped in life

It's crazy, we all end up one day

I just found peace with myself

When my narrow thinking was what I was able to run

I just want to get away

Of mind even temporarily

But why does it seem to be getting worse?

I don't know where I'm being taken

(I really do not know)

I just want to get away

(Just want to get away)

(I just want to)

Of mind even temporarily

(At least temporarily)

But why does it seem to be getting worse?

Sometimes I just want to disappear