Ben Bernanke -

Hello there, Spencer

I see you, you boy, boy

I see you, Spencer

With my eyes

You’re the architect of my dreams, Spencer

You plan them, and build them on blue paper

And hand them to me

And then I dream them, Spencer

That’s what you do for me

Thank you for that, Spencer

You prick

I’m a magician, Spencer, a furious magician

Ohh-ooh-ooh

Avada kedavra, Spencer, to you, Spencer

Avada kedavra to you, Spencer

You think you’re something special, Spencer?

You think you’re something brand new?

But you’re old oats, Spencer

You’re old, dry, stale oats, Spencer

I’m a magician, Spencer

A furious magician

Ohh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You’re a tall glass of water, aren’t you, Spencer?

You boy, precious boy

I’m Ben Bernanke, Spencer, and I want your teeth

For the Federal Reserve

I’m cutting interest rates in half, Spencer

And I need your teeth

I’ll admit, Spencer, you’re handsome

But what have you done with it?

You think you can mock me, Spencer?

Do you?

Do you think you can mock me, Spencer?

Do you think you can capture my essence

And throw it back at me with

Humor and rhetorical devices?

Well, you can’t, Spencer

You don’t know what I’m capable of

I need your teeth

For my Lonely Hearts Club Band, Spencer

I’m Ben Bernanke

I’m a magician, Spencer

A furious magician

Ohh-ooh-ooh-ooh-hoo-hoo

Are you proud of your country?

Are you proud of your country?

I’ll bet you are, pretty little boy

Sitting up there in your high chair

Demanding more applesauce

Well you’ve already got enough applesauce, Spencer!

There’s plenty of applesauce on your plate

I’m going to kiss you, Spencer, on the lips

You sexy little rattlesnake, you naughty little baby boy

You rambunctious little infant

My mother tries to get me to go on dates, Spencer

You know what that’s like?

You know how humiliating that is, Spencer?

You boy, Spencer

Spencer… (Spencer…) (Spencer.)

(OH MY GOD!)

You tall drink of water

Spencer

I’m a magician, Spencer, a furious magician

Ohh-ooh-ooh-ooh

I’m a magician, Spencer, a furious magician

Magician

Magician…

I love you, Spencer;

I’m gonna spank you silly…