Gweilo - KT

Clearly I’m white

Yes, that’s a 古箏

This is just a bit of fun with my Asian friends, we don’t speak for anyone else

Try not to take it too seriously (一, 二, 三, 四)

Been trying since last October

Still can’t hold chopsticks properly

Tiffany says she’s sober, but she’s still tryna give me broccoli

生舊叉燒好過生你 (哎呀)

It’s mad I saw some white guys, see an Asian cough and hide

You’re the one who needs advice on hygiene if you wear your shoes inside (笨蛋)

Yes I think milk is spicy, cause being Caucasian’s not a phase

Guess I got that ADH2 (傻瓜), that alcohol dehydrogenase

They call me 鬼佬

But they’r the best peopl out here that I know

Yeah

Being Chinese in the West, where do I even begin?

I was scared to wear a mask

when Corona started

Calling me a bat eater, snake eater, dog eater

I’m pescatarian

You speak good English, oh thanks, it’s cause you colonised us

I saw Boohoo was selling 旗袍 tops with giant cut-outs to show boobage

The Daily Mail was calling Demi Mawby sexy for wearing it

I’m sorry, how is that not cultural appropriation?

旗袍 aren’t meant to be sexy

Not by a long shot

How Far East is the Far East, huh

Thoroughly disappointed by the lack of Asian representation and exoticisation

in the media

You got a shirt that says moon in Chinese, but it don’t make you their saviour

While we’re here, why is it that barbers never figured out how to manage Asian

hair

And all you white girls wearing cheongsams, obvious that you’ve got no respect

Can’t even wear a mask for a bit without complaining, that’s your own defect

Same energy as people avoiding the Chinese takeaway when Corona hit

Your stereotypes are tasteless just like that time you swore you could make an

Asian dish (饭桶)

They call me 鬼佬 (哎呀)

But they’re the best people out here that

我的天啊, what is that 紅毛 doing

Jeng Shin says I need to get out there

I thought that’s kind of funny when it’s coming from you

Apparently my cooking is an absolute nightmare, big talk from someone who’s

only five foot two

I wonder who said that Asian people were quiet, when really I never heard

anyone so loud

Like Katrina singing all the hits from Six until I kinda wish I put my head in

a shroud

Let’s talk about Chinese tattoos, some of you been truly duped

You think it says peace and love, but it’s really chicken noodle soup

Now you probably guessed that I’m joking, and my verse is nearly over

In all honesty I couldn’t live my life without them, like an ABG and boba

Straight up (哎呀)