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And I want it to end now so I pick up the pace

But when they showed love I should’ve known it was fake

All these people talk good but I know that they snake

I mean I used to know, used to know what they was (I did)

I didn’t see it back in August I was caught up in the buzz

First day out the hospital what else could I think

That niggas still hate me when I’m about to be extinct

But it’s funny people bring memories I can’t remember

And when I can’t recall my anger sparks like an ember

But when I do I get sick of Deja vu like September

When I was back in the classroom I almost died in

All the memories flooding of all the other kids faces

Facing my fear that this shit is not a dream (it ain’t)

«I just wanna wake up» I would say in therapy

Doctors and therapist did their best to calm me

Couldn’t control my emotions like I wasn’t the creator

The day before senior year I thought shit would be greater (I did)

I went to sleep August ninth and woke up two weeks later

In a hospital bed (what?), in a dream state

Mom told me to relax doc was coming in at eight

Of course I thought it was a dream I didn’t even know the date (I didn’t)

Let alone 2 weeks ago I was at heavens gate

But anyways no, shit doesn’t get better

I thought I was going back to school with all my niggas

Where we be acting a fool but also focusing on figures (yah)

I couldn’t come back I was gone for about a month

My anger really intact I was so fucking done

I couldn’t fight back the sadness it already won

Like why I gotta do virtual school at home

Only having one class to see all my friends

Will this disease having nightmare ever fucking end

It was already bad enough I had shit on my platter

But all my niggas was fighting over shit that didn’t matter

But whatever, them niggas can’t fight anyway

But they all still my niggas until this day (they are)

And they know I always talk shit I don’t mean what I say

I’m just a sad mess who pushes through all the messes (I am)

I did the online school on time, with a little stressing

I was sad the whole semester people were calling me a blessing (I don’t know

why)

I call myself the tragedy but people think I’m tripping

I ain’t get much recognition from my school but I’m not surprised (I ain’t)

D said they kept my story low key when I almost died

You wouldn’t want to see me in Nemours and all the nights I cried

You wouldn’t want to see me in radiation when I was getting fried

Let alone in school to say you missed me even though you lied