Shop Vac - Jonathan Coulton

We took the freeway out of town

We found a place to settle down

We bought a driveway and a swingset and a dog

You got your very own bathroom

I got my very own workshop in the basement

We sit around staring at the wall-to-wall

Take field trips to our favorite mall

Waiting for the day when all the kids grow up and leave us here

If you need me

I’ll be downstairs

With the shop vac

You can call but I probably won’t hear you

Because it’s loud with the shop vac on But you’ll be OK

Cause you’ll be upstairs

With the TV

You can cry and I probably won’t hear you

Because it’s loud with the shop vac on We hung a flag above the door

Checked out the gourmet grocery store

I bought a mower I can ride around the yard

But we haven’t got real friends

And now even the fake ones have stopped calling

Maybe if you forget to hide the keys

I’ll take a ride to Applebee’s

I’ll come home drunk on daiquiris and throw up on the neighbor’s lawn

If you need me

I’ll be downstairs

With the shop vac

You can call but I probably won’t hear you

Because it’s loud with the shop vac on But you’ll be OK

Cause you’ll be upstairs

With the TV

You can cry and I probably won’t hear you

Because it’s loud with the shop vac on I like the Starbucks here that’s better than the other one

Because the other one’s not as good

They really need to put a light there cause it’s hard to turn

It’s hard to make a left turn

And when it’s time to go to bed

I’m still awake inside my head

I’m floating up above the house and looking down

I guess I gotta go back there

I guess there never was any other answer

And as the freeway hums the cars go by The headlights roll across the sky

Many miles away but I can see them speeding through the dark

If you need me

I’ll be downstairs

With the shop vac

You can call but I probably won’t hear you

Because it’s loud with the shop vac on But you’ll be OK

Cause you’ll be upstairs

With the TV

You can cry and I probably won’t hear you

Because it’s loud with the shop vac on