Ashcroft's Army - John McCutcheon

I saw him on TV last night

In a suit of somber blue

He said it was time for all Americans

To do what we must do

Take out your x-ray glasses

And your decoder rings

We need ordinary people

To keep an eye on things

So…

I wanna be in Ashcroft’s Army

I wanna be a spy

I wanna watch my neighbor’s doings

Kiss your rights goodbye

In this legal devolution

A perfect chance for retribution

Let’s just can the Constitution

I wanna be a spy

I wanna be in Ashcroft’s Army

I wanna be a fed

I might look like the meter man

But I’m a spook instead

Delivering pizza or the mail

Buddy, you can never tell

I’ll haul your sorry ass to jail

I wanna be a spy

I wanna be in Ashcroft’s Army

I wanna be a sleuth

I wanna catch some terrorists

Don’t worry 'bout the truth

If I see you hanging 'round

Wearin' a turban and your skin is brown

You’re gonna take a ride downtown

I wanna be a spy

I wanna be in Ashcroft’s Army

I’m gonna be a mole

It’s time to show the rest or my neighbors

Just who’s in control

The Vice-President said, «Shame on you!»

The Attorney General said it too

«Don't you question what we do!»

I wanna be a spy

I wanna be in Ashcroft’s Army

I wanna a G-Man

He used to be a Senator

But now he is a free man

He’s a Attorney General instead

'Cause the people of Missouri said

«We'd rather vote for a guy who’s dead!»

I wanna be a spy

I wanna be in Ashcroft’s Army

But still I’ve gotta wonder

Where was all this spying

When Adelphia went under

When Enron ran off with the loot

And Worldcom went right down the chute

Some terrorists wear pin-striped suits

I wanna be a spy