The Things You Do When You're Drinking - Jim Morris

She’s a beauty, but she’s got rabies

Hey Buddy, where’d you get your date?

I think you’d better get back to the zoo

Before it gets too late

I’m sorry, Mr. Weightlifter Man;

I guess I have no defense

It’s just the things you do when you’re drinking

Oh, they seem to make so much sense

I’m ready.

Hey, let’s get a tattoo

I want a great big anchor on my chest

Or maybe that heart that says I Love Mary

Oh, I think I like that one the best

I’m sorry, Linda

I guess I have no defense

It’s just the things you do when you’re drinking

Oh, they seem to make so much sense

BRIDGE:

Now we’ve been having ourselves one hell of a night

We’ve been drinking since early this morning

That tequila, rum, wine and beer all mixed up together

Sort of sneaks up without much warning

And I know I really should go home;

Hell, It’s quarter till three

Do another shot of Wild Turkey?

Well now, that makes sense to me

Hey baby, can I come over?

Yeah, I know it’s four-thirty

But hey, just think of it as a date for tonight

And I’m stopping by just a little bit early, yeah

I’m sorry Mr. Jones — I didn’t catch your voice

I guess I have no defense

It’s just the things that you do when you’re drinking

Oh, they seem to make so much sense

BRIDGE:

Pull over!

Walk a straight line!

Now what kind of game is this?

I wasn’t weaving;

I was trying to dodge an armadillo back there

And I bet his armadillo family is sure glad I missed

Well, I’m sorry Mr. Ociffer Man;

I guess I have no defense

It’s just the things that you do when you’re drinking

Oh, they seem to make so much sense

Yeah, it’s just the things that you do when you’re drinking, oh

They seem to make so much sense