The Telephone - Jerry Reed

Ya ever drop your last dime in a public phone

Have it keep your dime not even give you a tone

And you beat that silly contraption with your fist till it comes off the wall

Or did you ever place a call to St Louis direct

And get the Civil Defense in Connecticut

And operators say well ain’t that the number you called

And my phone bill that’s wrong about half the time

And I always get this operator on the line

And she says well Mr Reed ya just called this place on your phone

And I say lady look I don’t know a soul livin' in Tokyo

And the only way I can pay this phone bill is when I mortgage my home

Well you can find 'em in every home

This thing called the telephone

It’s the ultimate in modern day design

When it ain’t out of order then the number’s been changed

Or it’s disconnected or it just won’t ring

Why it’s enough to drive a sane man clean out of his mind

Did you ever place a call on a hectic day

And you couldn’t understand a word nobody had to say

And you keep tryin' to get your operator to come back on the line huh

You stand there and you click that lever till your face turns blue

And finally she comes buttin' in on you

And she says your three minutes are up you’re out of time

Now I’ve had to stumble through the house without a light

To get to the phone in the middle of the night

And I stumble over every stick of furniture in the house just gettin' there

So with a skinned shin and a busted toe I grab the phone

And I say a hello and all I get is ah ah ah in my ear

Well son you can find 'em in every home…

Alright this is my last time with my last dime

Operator what huh I know well I know that huh

But uh uh uh operator operator well I know you’re sorry

What huh I spent fifteen minutes I’ve been dialin' home

What ya you said that oh wait uh operator

Yeh huh give me my dime will ya gimme my dime back

I gotta go to the bathroom listen what is this oh nuts