Life Upon The Wicked Stage - Jerome Kern, Oscar Hammerstein II

Why do stage struck maidens clamor

To be actin’in the drammer?

We’ve heard say

You are gay

Night and day.

Oh, go 'way!

We drink water from a dipper,

You drink champagne from a slipper.

Tho’it seems cruel to bust

All your dreams,

Still I must;

Here’s the truth I tell you:

Life upon the wicked stage

Ain’t ever what a girl supposes;

Stage door Johnnies aren’t raging

Over you with gems and roses.

When you let a feller hold your hand (which

Means an extra beer or sandwich),

Ev’rybody whispers: «Ain't her life a whirl?»

Though you’re warned against a rou???¬??

Ruining your reputation,

I have played around

The one night trade around

A great big nation:

Wild old men who give you jewels and sables

Only live in Aesop’s Fables.

Life upon the wicked stage

Ain’t nothin’for a girl.

Though we’ve listened to you moan and grieve, you

Must pardon us if we do not believe you,

There is no doubt

You’re crazy about

Your awful stage!

I admit it’s fun

To smear my face with paint,

Causing ev’ryone

To think I’m what I ain’t,

And I like to play a demi-mondy role

With soul!

Ask the hero does he Like the way I lure

When I play a hussy

Or a paramour,

Yet when once the curtain’s down

My life is pure,

And how I dread it!

Life upon the wicked stage

Ain’t ever what a girl supposes,

Stage door Johnnies aren’t raging

Over you with gems and roses.

If some gentleman would talk with reason

I would cancel all next season.

Life upon the wicked stage

Ain’t nothin’for a girl!

You’d be back the season after!