Jingle Bombs - Jeff Dunham

Dashing through the sand

With a bomb strapped to my back

I have a nasty plan

For Christmas in Iraq

I got through checkpoint A

But not through checkpoint B

That’s when I got shot in the ass

By the US Military…

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs

Mine blew up you see

Where are all the virgins

That Bin Laden promised me?

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs

U.S. soldiers shot me dead

The only thing that I have left

Is this towel up on my head

I used to be a man

But every time I cough

Thanks to Uncle Sam

My nuts keep falling off

My bombing days are done

I need to find some work

Perhaps it would be much safer

As a convenient store night clerk

Oooh, jingle bombs, jingle bombs

I think I got screwed

Don’t laugh at me because I’m dead

Or I’ll kill you…