Ako Odem - Jantar

Idem, i mislim da ja trebam

Fakat spreman, makar znam da neće biti laka zemlja

Svaka zvijezda gubi sjaj, al' ja nisam takva jedna

Sjaj ja nemam, nit ga neću imati za sva vremena

Dišem jedva, čujem korak, stiže sjena

Vičem «Šteta, ne sad.»

jer ja ponovo osjećam

Gotovo niš' ne ostavljam, sve je odnio mi vjetar

Ako odem sada tol’ko mlad ostat će samo pjesma

Sve što jesam, dajem k’o poklon svima

Sitna duša dijeli velikodušno sad tol’ko rima

Sa emocijama utkanim u njima, «Ne pitaj.»

Znaš mene, to je jedina stvar koju ja skrivam

Snimam suze, sa puno boli i gnjeva

Te se ne daju obrisat', toga sam davno svjestan

Moram ja zato prestat', pa odšetat' u beskraj

I prekinut popunjavat' svoj dnevnik tu kod Andreja

Skidam jedra, nek' me sad vodi more

I šteta da tonem dolje jer sam ja bolji čovjek

Čujem da zvoni opet i ljudi koji me vole

Drže me za ruke, ne žele da Jan im ode

Utonem u san i zažmirim skroz naglo

Suze žene doživljavam kao kišu, ton maglom

Gase aparate, al' ja se borim svom snagom

Možda mi je stalo, možda ostanem još malo

Hmmm, ne znam da l' imam volje

Al' 'ko će me zapamtiti ako sad odem?

Hmmm, i da l' ću ja falit' kome?

Bilo bi čudno jer nisam ni bio čovjek

Hmmm, ne znam da l' imam volje

Al' 'ko će me zapamtiti ako sad odem?

Čuješ me sad al' sjeti me se opet

Jan Miklaužić, 23.1.

'88

Ako odem mlad, ne bi ja bio prvi

Nema brojke mrtvih, mlade prolivene krvi

Al' svejedno me je strah makar drugačije tvrdim

Tražim načine da nekak' izbjegnem te harfe smrti

Gle sranje trpim manje imam snage

Al' obitelj je ona zbog koje ja gibam naprijed

Znaš me, cijeli svoj život ja tražim zalet

A kad je vrijeme za let treba mi Pampers

Ako me ikad zaborave, ma neka

Ako već dođe do toga, bila bi moja greška

Jer jedva prepoznam i sebe sad kad repam

'Ko želi zapamtiti takvu lošu sliku dečka?

Smiješak stavim i napišem zadnja slova

Zatim Boga molim kada odem da me vrati doma

U obliku sjećanja ili u obliku snova

Neka uzme 10 grama, duša mi ne vrijedi pola

Ak' odem odmah i otiđem kao klinac

Vjeruj nije kako želim, al' to je jedini izlaz

Mama idi u sobu, nađi sva njezina pisma

Zatim ih baci uz ruže, želim bit zakopan s njima

Hvala svima i stvarno vas volim jako

Pa zato ja molim stalno da vas razdvojim s tamom

Gase aparate, al' ja se borim svom snagom

Možda mi je stalo, možda ostanem još malo

Hmmm, ne znam da l' imam volje

Al' 'ko će me zapamtiti ako sad odem?

Hmmm, i da l' ću ja falit' kome?

Bilo bi čudno jer nisam ni bio čovjek

Hmmm, ne znam da l' imam volje

Al' 'ko će me zapamtiti ako sad odem?

Čuješ me sad al' sjeti me se opet

Jan Miklaužić, 23.1.

'88

— «Reci ti meni, a di, di si ti doma?

Di si ti doma?»

— «U Ivancu.»

— «U Ivancu?

A kako se ti zoveš?»

— - «Još, reci glasno, ne čujem te.»

— «Kristijan «- «Sram te bilo» — «Zašto to govoriš?

Ajde kuš.»

I'm going, and I think I should

But ready, even though I know it won't be an easy country

Every star loses its shine, but I'm not one of those

I don't have shine, nor will I have it forever

I can hardly breathe, I hear a step, a shadow arrives

I shout «Too bad, not now».

because I feel again

I leave almost nothing, everything was taken away by the wind

If I leave now so young, only a song will remain

Everything that I am, I give as a gift to everyone

A small soul generously shares so many rhymes

With emotions woven into them, "Don't ask."

You know me, that's the only thing I hide

I record tears, with a lot of pain and anger

These can't be erased, I've been aware of that for a long time

That's why I have to stop, then walk off into infinity

I stopped filling in my diary there at Andrej's

I take off the sails, let the sea guide me now

And it's a shame I'm sinking because I'm a better man

I hear it ringing again and the people who love me

They hold my hands, they don't want Jan to leave them

I fall asleep and close my eyes very suddenly

I see women's tears as rain, tone with fog

They turn off the appliances, but I fight with all my might

Maybe I care, maybe I'll stay a little longer

Hmmm, I don't know if I have the will

But who will remember me if I leave now?

Hmmm, and will I miss anyone?

It would be weird because I wasn't even human

Hmmm, I don't know if I have the will

But who will remember me if I leave now?

You hear me now, but remember me again

Jan Miklažić, 23.1.

in '88

If I leave young, I wouldn't be the first

There is no number of dead, young blood spilled

But I'm still scared, even if I say otherwise

I'm looking for ways to somehow avoid those harps of death

Look at the shit, I'm suffering, I have less strength

Al' family is what keeps me moving forward

You know me, all my life I've been looking for a fling

And when it's time to fly I need Pampers

If they ever forget me, so be it

If it already comes to that, it would be my fault

Because I hardly recognize myself now when I rap

'Who wants to remember such a bad picture of a boyfriend?

I put on a smile and write the last letters

Then I ask God when I leave to bring me back home

In the form of memories or in the form of dreams

Let him take 10 grams, my soul is not worth half

If I leave now and leave like a kid

Believe me, it's not what I want, but it's the only way out

Mom go to the room, find all her letters

Then throw them with the roses, I want to be buried with them

Thank you all and I really love you very much

So that's why I keep asking to separate you from the darkness

They turn off the appliances, but I fight with all my might

Maybe I care, maybe I'll stay a little longer

Hmmm, I don't know if I have the will

But who will remember me if I leave now?

Hmmm, and will I miss anyone?

It would be weird because I wasn't even human

Hmmm, I don't know if I have the will

But who will remember me if I leave now?

You hear me now, but remember me again

Jan Miklažić, 23.1.

in '88

— "Tell me, what's up, where are you at home?"

Where are you at home?"

— "In Ivanac."

— «In Ivanac?

And what is your name?"

— - "Still, say it loudly, I can't hear you."

— «Christian «- «Shame on you» - «Why are you saying that?

Come on, try it."