Dear ICP - Insane Clown Posse

«Dear ICP

I was wondering if you could help me.

Uh, I’ve been involved in a relationship

for several years now, and uh, I found out that this girl had an affair with

someone else, right?

So, I wanna stay with the girl, you know, I feel real hurt

over this

Um, what should I do?»

Smack that bitch right across the lips

Cause she ain’t nothin but a filthy bitch

Beat that freak in the head with a cinder block

Blackin' her eyes, you lunatic-tock

Cause I really don’t gives a fuck

Except when I’m tryin' to put her in the buck

Shit, I ain’t said nothin'

Somebody left they load in her bellybutton

How you gonna say you love that

When her breath be smellin' like somebody’s nut sack

I oughta smack you in your fucking head

Should’ve shot that bitch in the back with nothin' said

But you nothin' but a pogo (Pogo)

Tryin' to fall in love but you can’t love a yo-yo

She’ll run and fuck then come right back

Then I greet her at the door with a smack

Cause I’m psycho swingin'

Till you hit her singin'

Loved my woman, had another man

So I slapped her in the dome with a frying pan

«Dear ICP

I recently became involved with someone who I care very much about.

He feels we should be having sex now, but I don’t know if I’m quite ready for

that stage in our relationship.

I don’t wanna lose him, but I don’t know if I’m

ready to give myself up yet

What do you think?»

I think you’s a dumb-ass bitch

In a minute he ain’t even gonna want the shit

You need to shut your stuck-up mouth

Cause your pussy ain’t worth the walk to your house

I’m tired of the dookie lies (Bitch)

You know your dream about his ugly-ass face between your thighs

'Cause you think it feels nice

All he wants to do is smack your ass once or twice

And make your butt crack jiggle

And stick his little ding-a-ling in the middle

I suppose you can wait for a weddin'

But ain’t nothin' wrong with givin' up a little neden

But if you really wanna hold on to the coochie

At least let him stick his nuts in your booty

Or work something else out

Like, maybe let him chill with his nuts in your mouth

But if not, well thats alright

'Cause he’ll just fuck some other bitch tonight, yo

«2 Dope is the mother fuckin' shit

You know what I’m sayin?

Bitches be lining up to get a glimpse of his nuts

And stick 'em in their butts

But only the nastiest, ugliest, Southwest sewer skanks

Be gettin to do the nasty with the mother fuckin' Shaggy»

«Dear ICP

Yeah, I have a problem.

I would like to know if you could let me in on some of

your deepest, darkest secrets on how to enjoy longer-lasting sex.

I would be much obliged.

I’d really like to know.»

Roll a pound of chocolate Thai

And smoke that shit until you die

Piggity puffin on the sess

T-takin' off her dress

Slap her titties up and down

Do they bounce?

(Yes!)

Good!

Get some Red Bull

And pour it in her bootie hole

Did she yell «What the fuck?»

(Yes!)

You did it right

So turn the bitch over and punch her in the eye

Some bitches like this, but I don’t know why

But some will hit you back;

you must watch out for that

Cause if you with a gangsta bitch, you ain’t gettin jack (Aww)

How to keep your nut?

Shh… I have a secret

But if I’m gonna tell you, you’ve got to promise to keep it

Get you some Faygo and pour it in a bowl

And let your nuts soak in it (What?) Just kiddin' (Oh)

That is all, your lesson for today

If you can’t get it right, you’s a punk-ass bitch!

«Wicked Clowns, mother fucker!

Violent J, 2 Dope, you know what I’m sayin?

Check it, mother fuck it, Nate the Mack, Lay Lo

Fuck off, woo hoo!

We in the mother fucker!

Wicked Clown, Wicked clown, woo hoo

Get the fuck off me, bitch, 'cause I’m in the fucking haugh»

«Um, I wanna talk to Violent J

I have a project

In which I think he might be interested in

Perhaps, performing on

It’s a good, good, song

Good, wholesome country tune

And I think he could be perfect for it

Um, please have him give me a call

I am a Midwest producer in the local area

And I think this project would be very good for him

And his exposure

To the country community

So at my earliest convenience

Please have him give me a call

Thank you»