A Reflection - Hotel Books

Waiting for retirement is like a destination without a journey

And it’s impossible to enjoy what wasn’t worked for at least me

But what do I know?

I haven’t been alive very long and I missed the point all along not to

accomplish but to live, to love and to enjoy

'Cause we cannot function without the distraction of survival

So it becomes self-centered and goal-oriented regimented lies become bias,

regenerated lessons to not realize sometimes boredom is a privilege

It means you’ll put your guard down but it makes it easy to lose yourself

If it’s that easy to lose who you are, you might not be anyone at all

So allow yourself to feel loved

Hope, enjoy, exist, fail an attempt because you you’re worth that, I promise

And wallow in what is not will not change what is

I don’t need depression but I can live with it

But let me have my sadness, it’s part of a bigger picture

Let me have my joy, my confusion, my compassion 'cause I’d rather feel complete

than feel accomplished, 'cause I wanna feel like I’m living in the moment

So don’t let the record of what you do be more important than what you do

Disconnect from the false narrative, the digital journeys filled with blind

spots and ask yourself «what do you desire?»

If it’s control maybe you miss the point so let it be life

As much as possible let yourself be loved

And then you can learn how to love others

I wanna open up about my failures but I’m afraid of leaving any blood in the

water and love my leak back to removing myself from a gracious circle of

friends

I wanna call my friends more often but I don’t wanna feel like I’m a bother

And I wanna stop changing the course of my heart every time it feels like I’ve

hit a dead end

I reconnected with my faith in God when my convictions cut too close to the bone

And I’ve learnt to let the narrative play out if you want to avoid the blue bag

And don’t believe in time just because it helps you not to feel so alone

I felt the words that were illogical but popular

Moments that were fabricated but offered more

And I left a lot of phone calls empty

'Cause I couldn’t pick up that phone

I want my life to be the worship that I thought it was before I began

I wanna live the gospel that I believe it but not one that was written by my

own hands

I want the narrative of truth to be more important than the narrative of

success, but I’ve fallen so far, I don’t know if I can find myself again