Calm Down Dad - Helen Love

She’s been going steady with a boy called Eddie

Staying out late every night

Her dad’s going mad and her mother is sad

'Cos they can’t sleep at all 'cos they’re uptight

Says she likes to dance to MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

She’ll be dressed in black from head to toe

Standing by the fire she looks like a Vampire

Says Uncle Stan to her Aunty Flo

I’m growing up real fast

I know what I’m doing I’m a teenager in love

Nothing ever lasts

I don’t care what you’ve been told

I’m still young and you’re still old

And The Clash were 30 years ago

She believes the NME and everything they write

They say London’s the place to be

She’s gonna get a flat by STEVE LAMACQ

With holes in her settee

She said her boyfriend Eddie knows people off the telly

And they wanna talk to me

So see me in a nice frock on NEVERMIND THE BUZZCOCKS

I’m gonna be on TV

I’m growing up real fast

I know what I’m doing I’m a teenager in love

Nothing ever lasts

I don’t care what you’ve been told

I’m still young and you’re still old

And The Clash were 30 years ago

Gonna sing like Kate Nash

In a cockney accent

Even though she talks posh

'Cos I know where it’s at

There’s nothing better in life than a snakebite

And a kebab with chilli sauce

And I’m not gonna work cos work is for jerks

I’m a punk-rock girl with electric force

And I’ll travel round the world on a ten pound note

On a silver black phantom bike

And I’ll sleep with a boy and I’ll sleep with a girl

And I’ll decide which one I like

I’m growing up real fast

I know what I’m doing I’m a teenager in love

Nothing ever lasts

I don’t care what you’ve been told

I’m still young and you’re still old

And The Clash were 30 years ago

White riot — I wanna riot

White riot — a riot of my own

White riot — I wanna riot

White riot — a riot of my own