The Wheatley Rap -

Hey my name’s Wheatley;

I’m a brilliant little core!

I didn’t know what to expect when I opened up that door!

I showed her where the gun was;

she progressed like a pro!

Such a good jumper too…

When we found GLaDOS, I kinda woke her up!

She wasn’t happy, nooo… she crushed me like a cup!

Found a great big bird;

it put me on my rail!

When I found Chell again, I tried to tell her the tale!

That little moron couldn’t handle it!

He gained some power and lost his shit!

He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip!

And now he’s banished into space, without a ship!

We went behind the scenes to try and escape!

She tried to crush us again: got through without a scrape!

Destroyed her neurotoxin and replaced all the turrets!

Turns out they’re pretty useless without any bullets!

We made it to her chamber;

I was ready to insert!

Then Chell pressed the button… oooh, man that hurt!

I did lose control, I’ll be the first to admit…

I even punched Chell down a deadly pit…

That little moron couldn’t handle it!

He gained some power and lost his shit!

He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip!

And now he’s banished into space, without a ship!

With GLaDOS out the picture, I could call the shots!

Did a little digging and came across the bots!

Had a real bad itch and needed to do some tests!

But first I had to deal with those troublesome pests!

Chell and the potato, made it to my lair!

I only tried to help them;

it just wasn’t fair!

Then Chell shot a portal on to the moon!

And it sucked us out like a big typhoon!

That little moron couldn’t handle it!

He gained some power and lost his shit!

He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip!

And now he’s banished into space, without a ship!

Spaaaaace!

Spaaaaaaaaaaaace!

Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!

Space!

That little moron couldn’t handle it!

He gained some power and lost his shit!

He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip!

And now he’s banished into space, without a ship!