Hedley Verityesque -

Found a nice little cove

Where nobody else goes

Took a trip round the Caves of Drach

And said: «It's good to explore the more cultural aspects»

Hedley Verityesque

She passed into folklore

Trod on the lines in the pavement

And said: «There's no room for enigmas in built up areas»

Sweats who think they’re hard

(Sweats who think they’re hard)

My head no end do in

(Head no end do in)

Brakes fail in the rain

Down memory lane

Come re-live my paper round with me

And I don’t see any more

(I don’t see any more)

Pent up Alsatians

They used to wait by the door

And say: «It's nice to know you’re here it’s nice to know you’re here»

And I don’t want any more

(I don’t want any more)

Stark German film noirs

And I could well do without

The hand-clapping sequence at the end of Blockbusters

You were in my hall

Now you’re on my wall

Peter Sarstedt, Mr Irony

Get in the hole

In some warm lagoon

(In some warm lagoon)

I’ll be with Ayshea soon

(Be with Ayshea soon)

Brakes fail in the rain

Down memory lane

Come re-live my paper round with me

And I don’t see any more

(I don’t see any more)

Big mad Alsatians

They used to wait by the door

And sing: «It's nice to know you’re here, it’s nice to know you’re here»

And I don’t need any more

(I don’t need any more)

Stark German film noirs

And I could well do without

The hand-clapping sequence at the end of Blockbusters

When all of the audience try to convince themselves

That what they are doing is silly but acceptable

And the only thing I can say is: «Oh Kip Keino»