Wasted Time - Sharing a Swallow - George Carlin

Den-deh-dehhhh!

Remember that?

Do you still do that?

Den-deh-dehhhh!

Don't lose that, man.

Den-nehhh!

Remember when you were a kid on a hot day?

Nobody was around.

Nothing to

do...Den-deh-dehhhh!

I'll still do it, man.

I'll push the button in the elevator- Dum-duhhm!

Watch

the numerals going up- Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-DAH!

Yeah, otherwise that's all

wasted time, you know?

Elevator.

There's nothing to do in the elevator except not look at the

other guy.

Stare at your shoes.

I play 'spy' at the airport.

Do you ever do that?

I believe in using that kind of time;

it's wasted

time.

I play 'spy' at the airport.

Especially a big airport.

You know there's a spy at the airport.

Your job - find him.

Get into a little of this (drinks some water).

Mmm.

I'll share this with you.

I'll share a swallow of

water with you.

Why not, man.

No one ever shares a swallow with you.

It's kind of a personal

sound.

(sticks microphone to his throat and swallows water) GLLLLLLLLLL!

SPLASH!

That second

half is the best part of the swallow, you know?

There are two parts... a lot of people don't

realize.

Two parts to the swallow.

The first one, that..that kinda bubbly sound is when you pour

somethin' in your mouth, your throat closes up.

'Cause your throat doesn't trust your mouth,

man.

Your throat knows your mouth is crazy... and will do anything.

So your throat is kind of a

monitor and you pour something in you mouth, your throat says, "Hold on. Let's check that stuff

out." Then the brain goes (makes 'calculating' sounds) "Looks okay to me, let 'er go!"

'Blllmmmm!'

Listen again for the two parts and especially that second one which is kinda

like...going home.

GLLLLLLLLLL!

SPLASH!

That was a goody.