No One Questions Things - George Carlin

Do you remember…OK.

Now, OK.

You remember Barbara Bush?

I call her the silver douche bag.

You remember her?

OK.

Barbara Bush.

She is the mother of Governor George Bush.

I call him Governor Bush because that’s the only elected office he ever held legally in our country, OK?

George Bush, Governor Bush.

Yeah.

I don’t care where they hang his portrait.

I don’t care how big his library is.

He’ll always be Governor Bush.

I don’t even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.

So she’s the mother of Governor George Bush.

She’s also the wife of his father, George H. W. Bush who did become president in the normal, legal, traditional manner.

And when he did, she came along for the ride as first lady, and that’s been the tradition up ’til now.

A man has been elected and the woman has come along for the ride as the first lady.

And usually, as in American life in general, the woman is condescended to, patronized, given something to do to keep her busy.

A lot of times, they give her a charity or a cause, something she can champion.

Betty Ford was told to drink.

Remember that?

Yeah, that was…that was Betty Ford’s assignment.

“Betty, you get drunk and get totally falling down, fucked-up, shit-faced drunk, OK?

You just get fucked up drunk, and we’ll hose you down, baby.

We’ll hose you down.

We’ll put you in a facility, you’ll get sober, and then we’ll put your name on the facility.

Liza Minnelli can get sober, and everything is going to be OK.

Right?”

That was her assignment.

Barbara Bush’s assignment was getting children to read.

Remember that?

Getting children to read.

They figured she had had so much success with George that she would be a natural to get children to read, which misses the point completely.

Not important to get children to read.

Children who want to read are going to read.

Kids who want to learn to read are going to learn to read.

Much more important to teach children to question what they read.

Children should be taught to question everything.

To question everything they read, everything they hear.

Children should be taught to question authority.

Parents never teach their children to question authority because parents are authority figures themselves, and they don’t want to undermine their own bullshit inside the household.

So, they stroke the kid and the kid strokes them, and they all stroke each other, and they all grow up all fucked up, and they come to shows like this.