Answering Machines - George Carlin

And answering machines starting with these people who think it’s cute to let their children record the outgoing message you know?

And you can’t understand a word of it.

Because the kid’s a fucking imbecile.

Hi my name is Stacey I’m 5 years old, my mommy and daddy aren’t home but I’m galalgablallamabla.

Beep.

Here’s my message Stacey.

I’m coming over to your house with a big knife.

And I’m going to kill mommy and daddy.

Then I’m going to peel off their skin and make a funny hat.

After that I’m going to take out my huge ding dong and stick it right in your dooooooo.