Autonomy -

We don’t talk anymore because you say I don’t sound like myself on the phone

Is it bad that I can’t tell which feels worse?

If the cigarettes don’t cloud your lungs and rot your teeth

And the drugs don’t eat your heart and slur your speech

If you make it home tonight without killing anyone else

I hope you find a way to hurt yourself

At least when you’re too drunk to drive and trying to leave

I know you’re not coming home to me

But I wonder what I’ll feel when I see your name on TV

I wonder which of us will feel more relieved?

Are you choking back broken glass?

Because I’m chugging gasoline

Guilt is all that stops you from leaving completely

But the engine’s on fire and I’m stuck inside

I said I was fine and I lied