Dear Carl - Eric Hansen

I heard her footsteps down the hallway

I heard the door slam at the crack of dawn

She laid tracks in my purple Cadillac

She was gone, gone, gone, gone, gone

She left a note on the kitchen table

Explaining her point of view

I put on a strong pot of coffee

Then I sat down on the porch to read her note

Dear Carl

I am leaving you today

I am never coming back this way

You can have the house

And everything in it

I’m finally fed up boy I’m finished

I’m sick of feedin' the chickens

Cookin' your dinner

Washin' the dishes

Sewin' your britches

Pickin' up your underwear

Doin' your laundry

I’m tired of waitin' up nights

Cryin' my eyes out

Looking for your headlights

Wonderin' if you’re alright

And now, this mornin', I found a grey hair

So I’m packin' my bags

I’m leavin' the laundry

You can have your ring back

It’s somewhere out in the yard

You say you love me

You never stay home

We don’t go dancin' anymore

I’m young and I’m pretty

I’m movin' to the city

Goin' to find a good man who’ll treat me right

Honey, I’m layin' tracks!

Signed… your soon to be ex-wife

Donna Jean

Oh God in heaven

What shall I do

I see now I’ve been such a fool

My Donna Jean, she’s gone and left me

I’ve been wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong

Then the sky turned black

The thunder cracked

The clouds split open

I saw a blinding light

There he was, white as a ghost

In a regular human voice god spoke

Dear Carl

She is leaving you today

She may never come back this way

You’ve got some problems

But I’ll tell ya how to solve 'em

Listen carefully son

Here is what you’ll do

Get rid of them chickens

Buy yourself a cookbook

Help with the dishes

Learn how to sew

Pick-up your own dirty drawers

And get yourself a Maytag

Stop actin' like a jerk

Come home after work

Tell her that she’s pretty

Take her dancin' in the city

Soon as you can, get her to a beauty salon

Now, get off your butt

Get in that truck

Go after that woman

And with any luck

You’ll find the purple Cadillac

Stranded by the side of the road

If you find Donna Jean

Get down on your knees

Mention my name

Beg her please, please

Promise, promise, promise to change your ways

Then take her gently by the hand

Let her know you understand

If she has to go, there’s the open road

But you’ll always, always, always be her man

You will always, always, always, always, always

Always, always try to understand

You will always, always, always, always

Always always, always, always, always.

Be a man