Depression Party - Endwell

I, I can’t begin to explain

All the things that I lost because of playing this game

All the flowers that failed to bloom

The perpetual sorrow as reality comes into view

I turned this flame into a spark

My roar decays into a bark

The smoke, the drinks, the friends, the scum

I tried, I swear that I tried but I’m done, I’m done

Always a way to make you think it’s okay

But then reality spits in your face

From the bottom I can see how they make it seem

But don’t believe in all the bullshit in your magazines

Goodbye to days of grace

Welcome my grave disgrace

Another way just to capitalize on your dreams

This is not the way you wanted it to be

So much to say about the way it was

They took it all from us

So much to take, they took it all from us

When it’s all been said and done

When it’s all been said and done before

They’ll suck you dry until you’ve lost it all

You don’t mean a thing to them

And they will never break your fall

Everybody jockin' hard

When you’re top dog

But when your chips are down

Where the fuck they all gone?

Integrity don’t mean shit

In this industry

So lean on the few who true

And always in ourselves believe

Hate all you want it

Only adds to our determination

And all you doubting fucks

Will see exactly what were made of

When all is said and done

You never stood a chance

Against a world that didn’t want your love

When you tried to tell yourself

That everything would work itself out

But you don’t have that luck

Now that everyone is gone

You’ve come to realize

You function better alone

And with a lack of love

You’ve found a better

Understanding of the way this works

Amen to the things we loved

And the dying youth within all of us

So much to say the way it was

So much to take, they took from us, you repent

I’ll take it from the top so you can understand

I think it’s the boy in me understanding becoming a man

And let me say something no one held my hand

Now anxiety ridden inside, shit has hit the fan

My heart races from wake to sleep

Head slow, I barely got the stomach to eat

Got nowhere to run and retreat

Nerves got me on the edge of my seat

What the fuck happened to me?

Hatred for myself

Breeds hatred for everyone else