Halloween - David Roth

Halloween was my favorite holiday as a kid

I got to dress up like all the people that I wanted to be

I was a pirate one year, and my big sister was a princess

We were poor, so next year we switched

Just kidding

Then I was Paladin, he was played on TV by Richard Boone

I got my costume at the Walgreens in a cardboard box

It was a one-piece suit with a pistol and a holster drawn in glitter

For a dollar ninety-eight you had to use your imagination

I had a crush on Amy Auerbach and Suzie Gomberg in the second grade

The most popular girls in school, I didn’t have a chance with them

Big feet, crooked teeth, and two-tone glasses

I had a built-in costume for Halloween every day in second grade

End of October, my big revelry had rolled around fast

And Doctor Kildaire was a popular show in TV that year

So my mother bought a little doctor’s shirt and I decided that I’d wear it to

school

I’d be Ben Casey 'cause he’s the one who had the dark hair

When I showed up at school that day the girls were giggling

And I couldn’t figure out what for til I saw Amy Auerbach

She was all dressed up like a nurse, and me like a doctor

We were instantly romantically linked and everyone was tittering

I was embarrassed, I wanted to run outside a dig a big hole

And jump to China, or even further if I possibly could

Then Amy smiled

I think it was at Joey Romanelli

So I tossed that doctor’s shirt

Traded it in for a cape

Next year I began my career as

The Man of Steel