American Car - David Roth

Back in '89, I bought a little Escort

Though I should have known a Ford would flop and bend

Ever since my mom’s convertible Torino

Lemon yellow, no coincidence, my friend.

But I drove that pre-owned pushcart with abandon

'Til the moment when her engine gasket blew

At which point I could no longer Dodge the obvious

Though the gods of indecision blurred my view

In the shadow of the door at Jimmy’s garage

Going back and forth, to fix or not to fix

When conspicuous consumption seized my psyche

Had a hot flash, kinda like the Dixie Chicks

I said Jimmy «Don't repair that faithless wagon»

There’s a brand new auto dealer 'cross the street

Thus I marched into that showroom with my checkbook

And drove outta there in brand new bucket seats

In the purchase of this rig I was determined

That America would be where it was made

Thus supporting auto workers in our country

Who were union men and women, fairly paid

And so a Caravan became my new companion

I was feeling proud and proletarian

'Til I found it was assembled near Toronto

And the engine 'neath the hood was from Japan

So much for buying local, I’d been thwarted

And to top it off, my wife could not believe

I would opt for such a middle-classy chassis

Instead of something with a bit more «joie-de-vivre»

But that mini van endured my rigorous paces

Couple hundred thousand miles, eleven years

'Til this spring when it not longer passed inspection

Time again to face those roadster racketeers

If you’ve ever bought a buggy from a dealer

There are several things I know will hurt you less

Like a root canal, a hurricane, a plague or two

Or an audit from your local IRS

Did some surfing on the web compiling research

I would not be fooled again by pedigree

'Til I chanced on something perfect for my purpose

Neither minivan, sedan or SUV

It’s an auto like no other, I assure you

Defying all description, heretofore

It’s the bain of some, the pure delight of others

An American original I adore

Friends, I’m standing here to testify and witness

That I’ve found a buggy that I’m really fonda

And the whole darn thing from head to toe

Was made right here in Ohio

I’m finally in my element, a Honda