Pottymouth - Danielson

Dialogue:

Rachel: Hey, Meg!

I heard you went on a date last night

Megan: Oh yeah?

Who’d you hear that from?

Rachel: Your old lady told me.

You know she can’t keep a secret.

How was it?

Megan: Well, he picked me up at seven.

He looked pretty good.

He even opened

the door for me.

I knew I saw something good beneath that bad boy facade.

We were driving to the bowling alley, got a flat tire.

He got out and started

changing it, but it seemed to take forever.

So I rolled down the window to ask

him if everything was okay, ya know?

There was a huge crash, and I think the

car fell on his foot or something.

I dunno, Rach.

He started… started mumbling

this strange language.

Something… something I’d never heard before

Rachel: What do you mean?

(Man screaming unintelligibly in background.)

Megan: I can’t explain it.

He just kept mumbling this strange language over and

over again

Rachel: Well, what happened next?

Megan: I didn’t say anything to him.

He got back in the car and we continued

driving to the bowling alley.

I could tell his foot was kind of sore.

We got to the bowling alley and started to bowl a serious game.

I kept getting strikes so that was really cool.

He wasn’t doing too well and

started getting mad.

In the last frame he tried to show off and did a little

spin.

I felt so bad for him — he dropped his ball on his bad foot by accident.

Then I heard him speaking that strange language again

(Man screaming unintelligibly.)

Rachel: The same exact language?

Megan: Yeah.

He didn’t stop for a long time.

I just looked at him and I thought,

«What's this all about?»

Rachel: Well, how did it end?

Megan: He drove me back to the house after I beat him totally.

He limped out of

the car and shuffled with me to my front door.

He told me that he had a great

time and asked me for another date.

I kinda just stood there thinking, «How am I gonna say, 'No way'?»

Then —

Rachel: And then?

Megan: He got this silly, glassy, romantic look in his eye and…

Rachel: And what?

Megan: He leaned in for a kiss!

Man: Hey baby (unintelligible vocals, kissing sounds)

Rachel: He didn’t!

Megan: Oh yes, he did!

He leaned in for a kiss, and you know what I did?

Rachel: Tell me, tell me!

Megan: I just pushed him away and told him where it’s at!

Won’t kiss no pottymouth!

Away with pottymouth!

Zip up that pottymouth!

Tough talk now walk!

Now walk!