Walking a Midget - Cretin

I own a happy midget—I walk him in the yard

He’s tethered to a leash—we don’t go very far

Stumpy arms and legs—prancing by my side

He trains so hard—I promised him—one day we’d go outside

Oh, my proud little man

Summersaults and handstands

Show me those silly midget tricks

When I clap my hands—he jumps and does a flip

I tell him that it’s time—he shrieks and wets the floor

When I attach his leash—he drags me to the door

We will show the people—who used to laugh at you

Just what a special midget—can be trained to do

Oh, stubby dwarven friend

My companion till the end

Runs just as fast as he can

Don’t forget to flip—when I clap my hands

Strutting down the street—he's on his brand new leash

He tries to jump on people—I keep him out of reach

All the people ask me—why I treat him wrong

I tell them they did worse—then we sing our song

«Happy little midget, running down the street

Happy little midget, skip on stunted feet

Walk my funny midget, watch him do his tricks»

Then I clap my hands—he jumps and does a flip