Gertcha - Chas & Dave

Now there’s a word that I don’t understand

I hear it every day from my old man

It may be Cockney rhyming slang

It ain’t in no school book

He says it every time that he gets mad

A regular caution is my old dad

Rub the old man up the wrong way, bet your life you’ll hear him say

Gertcha, cowson, gertcha

Gertcha!

When the kids are swinging on the gate

Gertcha!

When the paperboy’s half an hour late

Gertcha!

When the pigeons are pecking at his seed

Gertcha!

When the barber starts digging up his bean

Gertcha!

Gertcha, cowson, gertcha

Bar stool preaching

That’s the old man’s game!

Now the old man was a Desert Rat

Khaki shorts and a khaki hat

How me mother could have fancied that

I just don’t know

But when the enemy came in sight

They gave up without a fight

They rubbed him up the wrong way

This is what they heard him say

Gertcha, cowson, gertcha

Gertcha!

When me rock and roll records wake him up

Gertcha!

When the Poles knock England out of the cup

Gertcha!

When the kids are banging on his door

Gertcha!

When the barman won’t serve him any more

Gertcha, cowson, gertcha

Bar stool preaching

He’s always been the same!

(piano solo)

Gertcha, cowson, gertcha

Gertcha!

When the dog’s left a message on the step

Gertcha!

Lester Piggott, when he lost it by a neck

Gertcha!

When me brother kicks the toes out of his shoes

Gertcha!

When the houseflies are flying round his food

Gertcha, cowson, gertcha

Bar stool preaching

He’s always been the same!

Gertcha!

Gertcha!

Gertcha!

Gertcha!

Gertcha!

When me mother says he can’t go down the pub

Gertcha!

Sister’s boyfriend put his sister up the club

Gertcha!

When the tomcats, when they’re kicking up a din

Gertcha!

Tottenham Hotspur couldn’t get one in

Gertcha!

When me mother locks him out of the flat

Gertcha!

When it’s raining and he can’t find his hat

Gertcha!

In the mornings when his motorcar won’t go

Gertcha!

Next-door neighbour, when he won’t give him a tow

Gertcha!

Gertcha!

Gertcha!

Gertcha!