Medicine Show - Big Audio Dynamite

Get three coffins ready

Huh?

Ah!

Covered wagon, medicine show

Take you to a place where the healing flows, oh-ho

Weak in spirit, we got the juice

Won’t save your soul, it’ll shine your shoes, oh

Treated king to kangaroo

Santa Fe to Timbuktu, oh-ho

Don’t be fooled by imitation

This is the stuff that cured a nation

We took the tube and the high plains, too

Never stopped long, just passing through

A drop of the laughter of the maids of France

Makes a hopeless cripple dance, oh

It was really vile weather

When we got tarred and feathered

You could hear the six-guns sound

As they chased us out of town

Whoa-ho

In India, we’re all the rave

Discovered that it’s great as aftershave, oh-ho

Dropped in the sea just off Japan

Swapped twenty bottles for an aqua-walkman, oh

Immunity from ridicule

Improves your brains if you’re a fool, oh-ho

And I read in the Middle East

Traded some for a hostage release

Now if you`re bald, it’ll give you hair

If you’ve got straight trousers, it’ll give you flares

Feeling up, you’ll get depressed

Out of style, here’s a brand new dress, oh

It was really vile weather

When we got tarred and feathered

You could hear the six-guns sound

As they chased us out of town

Who the hell is that?

One bastard goes in, another one comes out!

Turn him around!

Turn around!

Turn him around!

Turn around!

(Laughing)

I’m innocent of anything!

You making some kind of joke?

Oh, no

(Laughing)

I don’t think it’s nice, you laughing

The stuff we sell is just the best

Passing all consumer tests, oh-ho

Days of heaven, nights of sin

Voodoo stick and shark’s fin

When all around you seems like hell

Just one sip will make you well, oh-ho

Multi-purpose in a jar

If you ain’t ill it’ll fix your car

In days of yore, for all bad feelings

Washing socks and stripping ceilings

Nowadays, it’s used medicinally

For all known human malady, oh

It was really vile weather

When we got tarred and feathered

You could hear the six-guns sound

As they chased us out of town

Whoa-ho…

Wanted in fourteen counties of this state, the condemned is found guilty of the

crimes of murder, armed robbery of citizens, state banks and post offices,

the theft of sacred objects, arson in a state prison, perjury, bigamy,

deserting his wife and children, inciting prostitution, kidnapping, extortion,

receiving stolen goods, selling stolen goods, passing counterfeit money,

and contrary to the laws of this state, the condemned is guilty of using

marked cards and loaded dice.

Therefore, according to the power invested in us,

we sentence the accused here before us, Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria

Ramirez…

…known as the Rat…

…and any other aliases he might have, to hang by the neck until dead.

May God have mercy on his soul.

Proceed

Duck, you sucker!

(Gunfire)

I don’t have to show you any stinkin' badges!

(Gunfire & yelling)

(Laughing to fade)