Dial a Hitman - Big Audio Dynamite

She’s bugging me again, run to use the phone

Find and rent a hitman from the twilight zone

It was good in the beginning, the wife’s become a drag

Found me a solution in Adventure Mag

Five sees as downpayment, it’s just a call away

Cheaper than some legal fees and they do the job today

So if you got a problem, pick up the telephone

For the guns and glory cowboys from the twilight zone

At the Continental Club, there’s no extras for striptease

We’re the gang that couldn’t shoot straight but we aim to please

Viet vets and drifters shell shocked from the hill

At the Continental Doc Savage pays the bill

Yeah soldiers of fortune but we’re not mental giants

But mister I must tell you, neither are our clients

So if you got a problem, pick up the telephone

For the guns and glory cowboys from the twilight zone

At the Continental Club, there’s no extras for striptease

We’re the gang that couldn’t shoot straight but we aim to please

Did a job in Georgia, money in advance

Fingers through the post with chilling nonchalanche

I’ve seen some civil war now, for the cash we took their lives

Back here on the homestead rich on peoples wives

We’re eighties bounty hunters with comical ineptitude

Modern cowboy cadres, guns and glory dudes

So if you got a problem, pick up the telephone

For the guns and glory cowboys from the twilight zone

At the Continental Club, there’s no extras for striptease

We’re the gang that couldn’t shoot straight but we aim to please