Procrastinator - Baba Brinkman

I’m a procrastinator, planning to act later\nA chronic nap-taker and chronicle narrator\nA fact-stator chasing some honest rap pay-dirt\nI’m a sonic blast maker, a foundation shaker\nCreating a half-acre-wide impact crater\nI’m a rhyme saturator, a mad saber-rattler\nAfraid of his shadow, a unilateral hate-battler\nA snake-handler, original gate-straddler\nBalancing eight platters of words on a straight ladder\nPlus, to make matters worse, surrounded by fake flatterers\nAny mistakes happen just call me a plate-shatterer\nInformation-gathering station conductor\nI’m shaken up worse than World Trade Center structures\nReluctant to say that I’ve just been taken upwards\nBy alien abductors, my face covered for days\nWith suction-cup clusters; there ain’t enough words\nTo explain the pain I’ve suffered; my brain is ruptured\nI need to be chained up and fed some plain custard\nIf that doesn’t work, and I remain flustered\nAnd labeled insane, then take me to shock therapy\nAnd tell the doctors there to be careful and not bury me\nAnd when it stops, carry me to the lobotomy chair\nAnd keep me there until I’m cheerful as a cocky parakeet\nPolly wanna shot of narcotics for thought-clarity?\nMy popularity drops — it’s probably a conspiracy\nApparently when I talk someone at the top’s scared of me\nI’m not paranoid; don’t offer me charity\nI don’t want steroids; my body is very weak\nI only shave my hairy cheeks once every week\nAnd I can barely speak, my throat is so dry\nIt’s no surprise though; I’ve been high my whole life\nSo I go try to flow nice at shows and it’s no dice\nAnd most nights I ghost-write lyrics to cold light\nAnd grow spiteful of my previous oversights\nAs greedy as cobras' bites when I hold this mic\nObese, dressed in vertical-striped Obelix tights\nBeats like these might backfire like motorbikes\nAnd catch fire, shoulder spikes and fat tires\nI’m a bad liar, a critic satisfier\nTurning higher learning into passionate desire\nSo hook this black wire to the amplifier\nAnd get blasted by a verbal crack supplier\nTo the buyer: I never criticize a rap addict’s cries\nI give 'em safe injection sites to protect their rights\nBut I’ll make 'em sweat tonight, and exercise\nTo inject some excitement into stressed-out lives\nIt’s like all depression gets left outside\nAs I bless the mic and leave the rest how it lies