Desperation - Apollo Brown, The Left, Journalist 103

Yo, I gotta do something man

It’s now or never

I’m either all the way right

Or I’m all the way left

Let me explain

I got one hand clutching the Nine

The other is clutching the microphone

Trying to make a clear choice between the right and wrong

Trying to stay in the zone with the right mind frame

But I keep getting distracted, my whole life’s changed

I done went from being the best at it

To being the last to even get mentioned, it’s pure madness

I can go to the lab and be productive

I throw my hands up at the world and say 'fuck it'

The rap game — hate it;

hip hop — I love it

Fighting to stay sober or to abuse the substance

My temperature’s high, spontaneous combustion

Leaves me to spit this lava in this discussion

So it’s a must that I continue to struggle

Or hide behind my weakness knowing I got the muscle

To move mountains of trial within my pathway

So I say Bismillah, you cowards make way

I gotta make a move

Don’t step to me homie I’m bad news

Walk off wit you battered and bruised

I gotta make a move

Cause now I got nothing to lose

You would never will to walk in my shoes

I gotta make a move

Sturdy face in the inner city blues

As I try to make a step to improve

I gotta make a move

While you got your clock on snooze

I’m up early getting paid my dues

I gotta make a move

I’m living in hell struggling to get to heaven

As I fight this urge to use a Smith & Wesson

Its a toss up as I’m searching for guidance

Do I follow my demons or take the path to be righteous

How do I fight this?

Meaning how do I write this

Lyrical prescription leading the cure to sickness

Listen as I spit this, choices gotta be made

Before i find myself in a rage throwing grenades

Load and cocking the gauge, feeling to hit the stage

Just in case i need to avoid my temperous phase

Running from my own inner power like Bruce Banner

But tired of being oppressed and murdered by these gaffers

This life is a test, is what I’m after

So I’m steady writing for freedom in every chapter

In every line I design I clear a pathway

So I say Bismillah, you cowards make way