Alternative Alf Garnett (BBC Radio One Session) - Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine

As the temperature drops on the drunks out in Clapham

I turn on my bx and it’s like punk never happened

The community’s charged up and the West End’s alight

And it’s Jimmy bloody Tarbuck on a Saturday night

And I’m sick to the back teeth, front teeth and tonsils

Of hit making factories and kids sniffing Ronseal

The run down, the hard up and the national health

And it’s Jimmy bloody Tarbuck on a Sunday as well

Friends, Romans, country fans

If you’re happy and you know it

You can clap your hands and say yeah!

Yes sir no sir three bags full of newspaper

Sleeping by the greengrocers over by the undertakers

Died in a house fire mummy was at the bakers

Buying broken biscuits, digestives and iced wafers

I’ve broken my dentures, got senile dementure

And I’m losing my barnet

I’m an alternative Alf Garnett