The Rise and Fall of Sir Wilfred P. Huffelbaggins III - Tom Smith

SIR WILFRED

I will not be imprisoned with the ordinary rabble,

I am Sir Wilfred P. Huffelbaggins,

The Third,

I’ve no loyalty or love to those buffoons within my cabal,

It’s no time for delay or lollygagging --

WAFFLE

My word!

SIR WILFRED

Gaah!

The Waffle!

WAFFLE

You’re the fellow who attacked me with this

Robot, which then sent me

A million light-years from my planet!

SIR WILFRED

Get away!

WAFFLE

But now I’ve got the controls, and I was

Wondering if it went the other

Way if I reverse and then I jam it?

SIR WILFRED

NOOO --

SIR WILFRED

-- GUH!

What -- where --

PIRATES

Yo ho!

On we go!

Way hey!

All the way!

Yo ho!

On with the show!

Way hey!

A slaughter today!

SIR WILFRED

Ahoy!

Ahoy there!

PIRATE CAPTAIN

Look, mates!

Another one!

And who be ye?

SIR WILFRED

I am Sir Wilfred P. Huffelbaggins the Third!

PIRATES

You believe it?

'Ere, he’s royalty!

Now what’s the chance?

Absurd!

PIRATE CAPTAIN

Well, I wonder if she’d like ya deep-fried, scrambled, poached, or shirred…