Alcestis on the Poetry Circuit - Vanessa Daou

The best slave

Does not need to be beaten

She beats herself

Not with a leather whip

Or with stick or twigs

Not with a blackjack

Or a billyclub

But with the fine whip

Of her own tongue

& the subtle beating

Of her mind

Against her mind

For who can hate her half so well

As she hates herself?

& who can match the finesse

Of her self-abuse?

Years of training

Are required for this

Twenty years

Of subtle self-indulgence

Self-denial;

Until the subject

Thinks herself a queen

& yet a beggar —

Both at the same time

She must doubt herself

In everything but love

She must choose passionately

& badly

She must feel lost as a dog

Without her master

She must refer all moral questions

To her mirror

She must fall in love with a cossack

Or a poet

She must never go out of the house

Unless veiled in paint

She must wear tight shoes

So she always remembers her bondage

She must never forget

She is rooted in the ground

Though she is quick to learn

& admittedly clever

Her natural doubt of herself

Should make her so weak

That she dabbles brilliantly

In half a dozen talents

& thus embellishes

But does not change

Our life

If she’s an artist

& comes close to genius

The very fact of her gift

Should cause her such pain

That she will take her own life

Rather than best us

& after she dies, we will cry

& make her a saint