Ramona's Revenge - Tom T. Hall

Ramona lived just down the hill from us

She kept the house ger mother drove the bus

(An old yellow school bus)

Ramona had a handicap the neighborhood knew well

Ramona couldn’t speak or couldn’t spell

(And that left Ramona at a

Considerable disadvantage among the more fluent)

Although she couldn’t write or couldn’t talk

Ramona really had a pretty walk

(A four letter figure)

Because she couldn’t write or speak nobody asked her out

But «bad-eye» Thompson hung around the house

(He was what you’d call a

Familiar figure in the neighborhood)

Well I guess their handicaps were common ground

Cause «bad-eye» Thompson always hung around

He could squint that eye and spit tobacco thirty feet

Ramona always grinned and stomped her feat

(Because, to Ramona this was one of

The finer things in life)

One day Ramona found herself with child

She couldn’t speak.

Her mom was going wild

Confusion reigned for half a day as one could understand

The county judge came down to lend a hand

(And I think it should be noted in

The interest of justice that the judge

Was acting in a strictly unofficial Capacity)

The neighbors gathered 'round Ramona’s porch

The judge said, «Understand, this is not a court»

Ramona squealed as all the breathless neighbors gathered 'round

Then closed one eye and (puh-tui) spat upon the ground

(And it’s a familiar old phrase that

«Birds of a feather will flock together»

And justice will be done)